Moving forward

Working on building my gym. Need to get started lifting Tuesday. Yep I’m going to lift on Christmas day. My plan is to run on the elliptical Monday, Wednesday, Friday and lift Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.

Let's start over 365...

Let's start this over. 365 days to get healthy. I must admit my last attempt was anything but successful. I know myself and I just won't go to a gym out work out after work. So I've purchased an elliptical for cardio and a gym to lift. Just need to build it and get going! Today I ran at 5:30 am for about 20 minutes. I'm working back up to one hour 3 days a week. Please wish me luck and encourage me, I can really use the support.

364 and so it begins.

I did ok at the party last night. Had a few drinks but restrained myself on eating the food. I'm pretty happy about that however when I was returning home at 3am I became famished. So I stopped at Mc Donald's and got a cheese burger and diet coke. I'm trying to figure out why I become so hungry at night. Eating well during the day is easy for me. In the evening it is really hard for me to control my appetit.
  So I grabbed some 5-HTP to see if it helps me with the nighttime cravings. Trying to figure out what triggers me to emotionally eat is hard for me. The odd thing is that if I am confronted with a bet I can do it no problem.
  A few years ago we had a Biggest Loser contest at work. Everyone threw in $5 a week and after a month winner take all. I got my friend Carol to help me train and diet and kicked ass! Didn't cheat once, did every exercise, and lost 37lbs in 30 days. So I know that I can do it just need to maintain the lifestyle.
  Spent today cleaning and organizing. I feel when I get my environment more in order it will help me keep my kind motivated and focused. Much wash is waiting to be folded as I type this.
I stated the Master Key yesterday and mediated both yesterday and today. I had gotten 5 or 6 weeks in previously. I'm going to do all 24 this time.
  On the work front meeting with John and Melissa tomorrow about a possible collaboration on a TV series.
  Seems we are off to a good start.

365 days to greatness.

I've decide to truly try at making myself a better and more stressful person, and make learn to write along the way. I have a few things that I am planning on doing.

1. Try hard to build my company back to the success it was in the past. Learn new software and technics and try my hardest.
2. Get fit and healthy. Follow my diet and exercise routing developed by my friend Cindy Hardy.
3. Work on my mental strength. Daily meditation and actually doing the program "The Master Key System". Supposedly this has helped such visionaries as Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey.

The daily discipline of blogging and my work toward my goals will help. Please forgive my ups and downs as I move forward.

I'm off to see my friend Daria and Andre's new house tonight. I must keep my eating under control.

Wish me luck!

Shoor First Focus Later

My partner Dave alerted me today to this cool new way of shooting photos. It's called the Lytro's Camera and it lets you focus after you shoot. We checked out the demo and it was quite impressive. I'm still wondering exactly how it works but our first thoughts are it acquires with a small aperture (so everything is in focus) and then via software lets you change the focal plane. No matter how it works it VERY cool, check it out!

Link to the NYTimes article

Lost and alone

2010 was a terrible year for me. So much happened and I’m still trying to get a handle on myself and what happened. I had some great professional triumphs (e.g. I shot Jude Law, Kelsea Crammer, Sean Hayes, and numerous other celebrities. In retrospect I wish I hadn’t. In my head I thought that it would help my career, it mad it so much worse. I got to see my work on posters, in Time Square on a huge billboard, and on CBS TV. I was feeling pretty proud of myself, but then suddenly everyone stopped talking to me. It was amazed that no one wanted to wok with me anymore. Months later I heard about a group of local photographers who were bad mouthing me. Seriously I was and still am in shock people I thought were friends that I supported did that to me.

Someone I felt was a close friend basically used my company to get tons of designs to make serious money. She then refused to pay us even though we had a signed contract. This is someone I thought I knew and when I look back at all the posts she read and commented on I see she was just using me.

Between these things and my relationship getting worse and worse, I really lost it. I ended up moving out and away from my wife. I still get to see my son but I am embarrassed and feel unworthy. Started therapy and got on some antidepressants that help a little.

Just feel so hurt and attacked that I attacked people I love back. I'm so alone and mad at myself. I have an urge to at least try to make some art to get the feeling out but I can't. It's just terrible and I hate it!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer Official HD